I know it’s a been awhile since I’ve sent a newsletter.
I know that I can’t be the only woman who has had a difficult last few months. To be frank, this winter not only slapped me in the face with her icy temps, I was slapped some harsh truths to wake me up.
Over the years, one of the things that I’ve learned and has been my lifeline many times is knowing that even when times are difficult, I always get through it and truly am better for the experience. Even when I know that, it does not make me immune to feeling the pain. I don’t get to think my way through it. I don’t get build a bridge over it. I don’t get to skip around it. Trust me, I’ve tried. (I still try). I’ve learned it’s a necessary part of my embodiment process (more on this later).
At the beginning of the year, I was presented with an opportunity to work on a project. It felt like an amazing opportunity that would allow me to use many of my skills and talents. I shared this potential news with a few people and they were just as, if not more than, excited as me. It felt like a win-win for so many.
The catch? I had to decide if I was going to compromise my worth and to set aside the numerous warnings or consistent rumors I had heard over the years. Would my passion, love and strong sense of knowing I could be effective be enough? It would be different for me, right?
I truly believed this felt aligned despite these concessions so I said, “Yes!”
(Now, if you’ve been in a similar situation, you know where this is heading. In retrospect, I can see it now.)
I won’t get into the details, but can share that this was a research experiment that went horrible in a few short weeks. I’ve never felt less valued and misunderstood in all of my working life. By the end, I left horrified at the treatment and angry at myself. I discovered a new level of anger that scared me.
What did I just do to myself? How was I going to get through this? Ugh, what am I learning now?!
I went back to what I know about how I live embodied. I had to look at my own research and experiences the last few years to put into practice what I preach (and want to teach others). To get through this, I had to truly dig deep (new levels of expansion and depth require this).
I held the space for myself.
I asked others to hold the space for me.
I felt it all to the core of my body.
I went from my knees to face and body planted on the floor.
I gave it time. And time. And more time.
Then, I thought about my process. I was equally relieved and scared. I knew this would require something new and bigger from me.
I’m telling you…I “know” this and I still have to “feel” it. The ability to move through and track myself against my known embodiment process is also what gives me courage, confidence and strength to navigate my obstacles. It required deeper integration of combing this knowledge and taking inspired action.
Before birthing or creating something major and new, it’s preceded by some unexpected, personal world shake-up. It doesn’t affect just one area of my life, but many areas or to my core. It’s a personal earthquake. It’s like my expansion and depth plates collide. (I’m from California and felt a few earthquakes and after shocks in my life).
When I’m not supposed to be in a particular place anymore or on a better path, the Universe offers a very loud wake up call to move me towards my next destination so that I can receive my next experience and lesson. It's all in an effort to meet my desires.
I was laid off over 4 years ago. This work was birthed.
I felt kicked to the curb in this situation. I’m about to birth something that has been years in the making.
I can be stubborn at times. I like being comfortable. I don’t want to get up when I hear the call. Sometimes I send it to voicemail.
Now, I’m answering the phone and listening. And lately, the conversation and co-creating have been so good, I don’t want to hang up the phone.
I’ll be sharing the results of my conversations and research very soon. For now, I’d like to share with you a sneak peek into my most comprehensive offering:
It’s everything that I knew it could be when I started teaching 4 years ago.
It’s the very thing I wish was out there for me when I started my own journey 20+ years ago.
It’s an opportunity to leverage your embodiment to have more alignment, ease and magic (if you’re up for it).
Until then, I hope you’ll emerge into the Spring with me at my next Live Embodied class on Sunday, May 19th from 11am-1pm at Moving Body Resources in Chelsea, NYC.
In ease and flow,
Creator of Live Embodied