"Soon. When I'm ready."
I will be celebrating the anniversary of teaching my very first Sensually Soulful Movement class in New York City - March 6, 2015 to be exact. It was about this time a year ago that I was having some serious, "girl, you better do it now or let it go! What are you going to do? WHAT. ARE. YOU. GOING. TO. DO? It's now or never.
There really wasn't anyone else getting in the way. Correction. Anyone else being other people. That "one" was me. It's like the story of my life. I'm really good at talking myself out of something. I can give you a long list of reasons why it won't work or isn't a good idea. My classic go to reason is "will anyone show up?" For the record, many friends were asking me when I was going to teach so there were going to people (evidence and drama of this in the last year really deserves its own post). My response was always, "Soon. When I'm ready." Ugh.
How many time do I really want to hear myself say that? It's like the equivalent of that favorite song we put on repeat until one day we're thinking, "THIS song, AGAIN?! I think I'm over it!" I get it...it's what keeps us safe and in our comfort zone. It buys us more time to figure things out and to trust that timing really plays its part too. BUT, how much more time do I REALLY need?!?!?
While in the process of documenting where I've taught in the last year, I started thinking about where I was a year ago and ironically enough I find myself still feeing the same tentative uncertain, doubtful feelings about how to grow and expand SSM. Before me, I see opportunities and possibilities that were once on the back burner becoming real options that I can take...ummm key point being -- should I decide to get out of my own way and find a new song to play. Funny how that works out.
This year, Instead of being asked when I'm going to teach, I'm being asked:
"You should coach privately. When are you going to do that?" Soon. (surprise, surprise)
"When can I practice and experience your work on my own time?" Soon. (I really should say, see answer above.)
"When are you going to offer teacher training?" The teacher is still in training. (I guess this is some form of soon, but I'm taking steps for this process).
So, what are the lessons here?
Reflect (and appreciate) how far you've come before judging how far you've yet to go. In one year, I've taught in 8 cities. There's NO WAY I would have believed this was possible a year ago - had NO clue. I bet you've accomplished and have learned so much more than you realize. I'm proud of what I've accomplished and might not have as far to go. I'm open to finding out.
For every question, there is an answer. And letting those answers unfold. So, will people show up? Set a date, time and location and let's see. How can we expect people to attend a party, if they don't know about it? It doesn't have to be a grand party. An intimate gathering works too. Also, give time for answers to arrive and space for answers to show up in unexpected ways.
Trust your timing. When we take one step, we can take the next step when it presents itself. A year ago, I just wanted to get through teaching one class to say I finally did it. The response was unexpected and more classes were scheduled. Pace yourself. Be gentle. If you really knew how it was all going to happen, would you really take that first step? I doubt it. It would feel overwhelming.
In the last year of teaching, I'm grateful to have learned that people do show up. Even if it's just one (other than me). Whether I'm teaching a class to one or twenty-something, the experience for my students and myself has been profound. In showing up for myself and my dreams, my students are given the chance to show up for themselves too. It's not about knowing it all, we all win in ways that matter most - to re-connect with our truth, each other, heal and see what happens when we get out of our own way.
p.s. Celebrate my one year teaching anniversary by joining me on virtually on Sunday, March 6 at 9pm (EST). It's a pay what you desire class with a limited number of spots. Register here.