Sometimes you just need a break

A little confession. Until this past Sunday, I haven't taught a class since December 31, 2017. Women have asked. Some have asked more than once. A few have bugged me.

Truth is I wasn't that inspired. The vulnerable truth is I didn't have the energy to stress and deal with promoting the class, wondering if anyone would register, and deal with my insecurities or stories that would pop up. It's exhausting. I already feel so much. It's a lot to hold space for myself through it and then for others. I needed the break. It was time for a deeper evaluation. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by a woman who had experienced my class to see if I would be interested in teaching a private group class. After checking in with myself to see if I was ready, I was surprisingly open to it. The opportunity to do what I love AND there would be a group of women who wanted to be there? Yes, definitely. 

Privately, I wondered if I still had "it". Could I show up for these women in a way that I had before? Would I be comfortable and confident? Would I be rusty? 

For the first time in three years of teaching, I wasn't nervous or anxious like I usually am before I lead. I was very ready for whatever was going to happen. I felt comfortable and confident in my ability to show up. The women received what they needed. How? Why? 

  • Everyday Embodied Practice. I realized that while I might not be teaching frequently, for the past few months (really years) I was consistently practicing, cultivating the connection with my body and spirit. I listened, trusted and followed. It was a focused or concentrated effort for two hours. 
  • Trust the Co-Creation. It's not about a detailed plan. It's a dance of giving and receiving between several parties - the individual woman, the group as a whole, and me - - really, the Universe/Divine/Spirit that runs through us all to elevate each other. When all parties are surrendering to that dance, what we co-create is gloriously magnificent. 
  • Presence and Openness. Everyone that was there wanted to be there. While some had experienced the class, a majority of the women had not. They were there because they felt a calling or something deeper. They were open to whatever was going to happen. Collectively, expectations and attachments didn't weigh us down. We allowed things to unfold. 

I felt inspired to share this because I think we get caught up in judgements around what we should be doing or not giving ourselves the permission to take a break. If we are not doing that thing, that means we aren't doing that thing. If you're on a long road trip and need the rest stop, does that mean you're no longer on a road trip? 

I'm thankful for the timing of guiding these women this past Sunday. It's re-inspired me to offer a class on Monday, May 21st and to continue to trust my timing in service to those I'm here to guide. 

In ease and flow,