Trusting the dominoes that fall
Have you ever set the dominoes in motion and wished at some point you could stop them from falling? You witness one domino hitting the next, then the next and then the next. At some point you try to prevent the next one from falling. It’s useless.
It’s how I’ve felt about my life in the past nine months.
I could say I set the dominoes in motion only recently, but the truth is the dominoes were in motion long before I ever noticed they were moving. Each moment of learning and experiencing my life were a stepping-stone leading me to where I am today.
It’s how I feel about this work I feel called and inspired to do in this world – help women connect and cultivate a relationship with themselves, their bodies. To have them remember the answers have been within all along and to trust that.
I didn’t always trust myself. I trusted others before I trusted myself. I learned the hard way when in retrospect, I knew better or already had the answer. I eventually started to play a game with myself to see what would happen if I trusted myself first. What would it look and feel like if I went with what I knew and felt was right for me? What if I found myself right regardless of what happens?
It felt scary at first. My answers were different and looked different than what was expected or what those I trusted would advise. It was right for me, how could that be wrong? Someone else’s wrong could be my right.
My right involved offering a class that I would want to experience.
My right involved not having it all figured out before I started.
My right involved saying yes to myself.
My right involved doing it my way.
My right involved sharing with my students that my classes are not all mapped out and that their presence/energy co-creates the experience and direction.
My right involved being present to the moment instead of highly planned and choreographed.
My right involved being vulnerable and showing emotions.
My right involved feeling too much.
My right involved saying to women you can move sensually purely for your own pleasure and NOT for another.
My right involved trusting myself so deeply that no matter how crazy or wrong it looked to others, it felt right and good for me.
My right involved knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll get through it.
My right includes sending this newsletter now and not a month, week, day, hour or minute before.
My right includes knowing when I’m myself despite the messiness and imperfection; I’m courageous in living in my truth and not hiding it out of shame or judgment.
My right to live embodied.
What I know thus far is that every domino in place brings lessons and sets more than one event into motion. All of it is connected when you look back. To take one domino out changes everything. I wouldn’t be who I am in this moment.
p.s. I’m heading to the Bay Area for the rest of 2015 and making plans to offer my classes/workshops. I desire to offer a workshop in Seattle and in Southern California for a West Coast Tour. Please let me know if you or someone you know might be interested and you’ll be the first to hear about it. Also, if you know of any available spaces to hold the event, please contact me (firstname.lastname@example.org).
p.p.s. My last NYC class is this Sunday, November 8 2015 from 11am-1pm. Register here.